Halycon Days

"A period of peace and happiness."

The Halcyon is a bird of Greek legend. The ancients believed that the bird made a floating nest in the Aegean Sea and it had the power to calm the waves while brooding her eggs. The belief in the birds power to calm the sea originated in a beautiful myth recorded by Ovid.

The story goes that Aeolus, the ruler of the winds, had a daughter named Alcyone who married Ceyx, the king of Thessaly. Ceyx was drowned at sea and Alcyone threw herself into the waves in a fit of grief. Instead of drowning, she was transformed into a bird and the wind carried her to her husband.

Today, halcyon days leans more towards nostalgia and the recalling of the seemingly endless sunny days of youth, but the original halcyon days were in the depth of winter.

The depths of winter. Those are the real halcyon days. That's when it gets the darkest and the coldest. But peace is drinking tea with your best friend when it's cold and happiness is being surrounded by friends with lighters when it's dark.

I was just thinking about it today. Life isn't an American summer cliche, it's harsh and it's brutal. I'm too young to be nostalgic but I'm old enough to know what I have are halcyon days.

Fickle

"Characterised by erratic changeableness or instability, especially with regard to affections or attachments."

I also have a music blog, I write reviews and just put music that I love on there. I had a look at it today and I didn't want to listen to anything on it. Not because I had changed my mind about the music I supposedly love, I still think all of it is incredible, but rather I convince myself that there is something better to listen to, somewhere.

I'm fickle, in every aspect of my life and I think I always will be.

I met a guy recently and I thought I liked him. I really think I did but I convinced myself that there is someone better, somewhere.

That scares me. I'd rather be alone. I'd rather listen to nothing. All because I want better.

What if what you have IS better? The best? And you walk away or you don't listen because "there must be something better."

Aren't you scared of walking alone in silence?

I am.

Need it

"All the while as I traced her spine. You tore up my head, through my peace of mind."

I can't get this song out of my head. Ironically, it's about not being able to get someone out of your head.

Your mind is a funny thing isn't it? It plays tricks on you, doesn't it?

I had a conversation, in the early hours of the morning, with a friend about how she can't bring herself to let go. She needs him in her life, even if she knows that it's not good for her.

That's the thing. People leave their mark. Sometimes it's just a smudge that someone can just rub off, the way your mom did when you were a kid.

Sometimes, they scar and no matter how hard you scrub, it doesn't wash away.

It may fade, but it's there and some days it's shows more than you'd like it to, but it's a good thing.

Without that scar, you might forget. Forgetting means letting go of a piece of yourself. No matter how scarred that piece is, you need it.